What can you control and influence even when decisions have already been made?
Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2025 4:33 am
Before you can do anything else, you will need to break this cycle, and the most important thing is to recognise that you are the one who needs to do this, and no one else! How you do this is for you to decide, as there is no ‘right’ way.
Ultimately, it can take some soul searching and hard work to undo the cycle, and take back control.
Everyone’s situation is unique and there are often many contributing factors. To illustrate my point, I will share some of my own experience. I went through some difficult times several years ago, following a redundancy. I was not securing interviews, and I was getting more downhearted and stressed as the weeks went on. I am not looking for pity, nor sympathy here, I just want to share my reflection of why this happened.
Through a combination of counselling and self-reflection, I realised that I needed to hong kong whatsapp phone number take ownership of my own lack of action and I needed to accept that it was in my gift to do something about it. I had not spoken out when things were not right, I was agreeing to things when it would have served me better to say no, and I stayed in the job for far too long. I had lost my confidence and I became fearful. Fear that I was not good enough, not clever enough, not skilled enough… the list goes on. The reality was that I had allowed others to take ownership of my life and career over a period of time, and that it was my responsibility to put things right. It was only when I changed my mindset, and realised that sitting at home in front of a PC was never going to work as a job searching strategy. When I finally started to actively go and speak to people, and do some of the things I had been scared of, I noticed that changes started to happen.
When decisions are made for you, such as in a redundancy situation, or any other major event outside your control, it is very easy to believe that there is nothing you can do about it, particularly when an event comes with a set of rules you have been told you have to follow. To some extent that is completely true; as you cannot control external events or decisions. What you are able to do is control your own emotional responses and reactions, and work out what you can do to influence the situation.
Ultimately, it can take some soul searching and hard work to undo the cycle, and take back control.
Everyone’s situation is unique and there are often many contributing factors. To illustrate my point, I will share some of my own experience. I went through some difficult times several years ago, following a redundancy. I was not securing interviews, and I was getting more downhearted and stressed as the weeks went on. I am not looking for pity, nor sympathy here, I just want to share my reflection of why this happened.
Through a combination of counselling and self-reflection, I realised that I needed to hong kong whatsapp phone number take ownership of my own lack of action and I needed to accept that it was in my gift to do something about it. I had not spoken out when things were not right, I was agreeing to things when it would have served me better to say no, and I stayed in the job for far too long. I had lost my confidence and I became fearful. Fear that I was not good enough, not clever enough, not skilled enough… the list goes on. The reality was that I had allowed others to take ownership of my life and career over a period of time, and that it was my responsibility to put things right. It was only when I changed my mindset, and realised that sitting at home in front of a PC was never going to work as a job searching strategy. When I finally started to actively go and speak to people, and do some of the things I had been scared of, I noticed that changes started to happen.
When decisions are made for you, such as in a redundancy situation, or any other major event outside your control, it is very easy to believe that there is nothing you can do about it, particularly when an event comes with a set of rules you have been told you have to follow. To some extent that is completely true; as you cannot control external events or decisions. What you are able to do is control your own emotional responses and reactions, and work out what you can do to influence the situation.